There are many different ways to help us cope with this guilt. Rather than worrying about every little detail of care, you must learn to detach a little. It is painful and impractical to be so consumed in each detail. You must step back and ask yourself “What more could I do?” Realize that you didn’t cause your loved ones illness. Understand that sometimes professional care is necessary. Take time to grieve your loss. This is a big change in not only your loved one’s life, but also in your own. Learn to understand that you can’t live life for other human beings. You can only help them so much. Do your best, and then move forward with your own life. Few aging parents or spouses would want their adult children or their mate to entirely give up living any kind of life apart from their needs. You will still be part of the care team. You will still be your loved one’s advocate. You will give much of your attention and your life to help him or her. Overall, it will be a winning situation for both sides.